Revenge of the "Pop"corn

By Tomasz Kamien / NewJerseyHitmen.blogspot.com

 

April 8^th, 2012: New Orleans, LA – The Hitmen started off their 13-game road trip by going into New Orleans for a three-game series with the Trendsetters.  We knew this was going to be an interesting series before going in.  Earlier in the year, during a town hall meeting, manager Tracy Evans got into a small but comical tiff with Cooper Scott, interim executive general manager.  The move was apparently made official, to the disbelief of many following the situation.

At the meeting, Scott was seen throwing wads of paper at Evans, who was enjoying himself some Orville Redenbacher's popcorn.  Evans then retaliated by throwing some of his popcorn back at Scott, yelling at him to eat the “floor popcorn”.  The two continued to glare at each other throughout the rest of the meeting that night.  This would set the stage for series.

Revenge was swift, as they say.  Scott did not wait long to let Evans know he did not take to kindly to being told to eat “floor popcorn”.  Waiting for the Hitmen in their locker room prior to Game 1 in the series was a three-foot wall of popcorn with all the trimmings.  Besides making a huge mess of the locker room, there was a note left for Evans and his team:

“Enjoy the floor popcorn, Tracy; I remembered how much you like the stuff!”

Apparently, Scott’s ploy worked, as the team could not manage to get many hits off starter Chris Saunders.  Some Hitmen complained that all the butter and salt-covered popcorn ruined their equipment and left everything greasy and itchy to wear.  Nevertheless, Evans would not accept this as an excuse as he watched his team lose the opener 1-2.

When Scott was sought for comments after the game, he was found with Jack Cobb, of all people, in a private box.  The two sat there eating popcorn and laughing it up but would give no comment about the incident that happened before the game.

But as I said, revenge is swift.  The Hitmen retaliated in the best way they knew how: hit the ball.  They opened up for 31 total hits and 20 runs to blow out the Trendsetters in the following two games to take the series.  Evans could be seen chewing on his popcorn in the dugout throughout both games.  With a 2-1 lead, the Hitmen would rattle off five straight hits in the 9^th inning of the 2^nd game to help seal the deal.

Feeling in control, the team took it to the next level in the rubber match.  The whole Hitmen dugout could be seen chewing on popcorn throughout the game.  And boy did they “pop” in this game – five different Hitmen went long!  This forced the Trendsetters to go through a majority of their bullpen in the lopsided game.  What was more comical was the way the team would react to the home runs.  After launching the ball, the hitters would bounce their way the whole way around the bases as if mimicking popping popcorn.  In the dugout, the players would erupt out of their seats with each blast, throwing popcorn all over the dugout with every launch.  Evans could be seen jumping around joyously laughing with a mouthful of popcorn during the game.  Needless to say, after the game, the visitor’s dugout was a complete mess, and once again, it was up to the annoyed janitorial staff to clean up the mess.

When asked for a comment after the game, Tracy said, “What can I say; the ball was just popping off the bats!”

When asked about the popcorn mess the team had made, Tracy laughed.  “Scott knew I liked popcorn and I wholeheartedly thank him for making sure we got so much of it to eat while we stayed in New Orleans.  Of course we left his ‘floor’ brand popcorn in the dugout; it would be rude if we didn’t leave him any of his favorite kind in return!”

After the game, Scott had a few choice words of his own for manager Tracy Evans.

"I love it," Scott said smiling.  "How many times did they replay those guys on the national sports shows, popping like corn?  I mean, any press is good press… am I right?

"But let me put this plainly… Evans is a classless individual who doesn't belong in baseball.  If I was in charge in New Jersey, he wouldn't last five minutes.  He complains about the management and has no problems being a slob… I guarantee that my career will far outlast anything he will do.  I mean, come on… I am Cooper Scott."

Also, there are rumors that, after the game, starting pitcher Ed Mitchell and reliever Roy MacKeachan were seen dressed in maintenance uniforms cleaning up the visitor’s dugout.  Both pitchers allowed two home runs earlier in the game.  MacKeachan declined to comment, but Mitchell simply offered, "Hey, at least it’s not starling poop."

Tomasz Kamien is a beat writer for the New Jersey Hitmen.  This story was not subject to the approval of Planetary Extreme Baseball Alliance or its clubs.